FREED SLAVE

Max’s ballpoint dribbled faster than his diary could take… his thoughts were scrambled yet he knew exactly what he had to tell God… he wanted to end it all… paranoia was now his homie, delusions slept next to him every night and hallucinations were the only ones he spoke with.

 “Dear God, they say nothing is impossible for you… absolutely nothing… it’s not like I don’t believe it… I do… but I just don’t get why you haven’t taken this cravings out of me… this beast… this monster eating me up… could you please get it out? Lord I need you… more than the moon needs the sun… I do…” Max kept scribbling… still, the thirst for just another “drag” mocked. The quartz alarm clock chimed 2:00 am…

Max stared at his fourteen year old brother sleeping on the other end of the bed. Timmy held Max in high regard. All Timmy saw was the young Christian R & B crooner that would send anointed ministers reeling on the floor anytime he held the mic. Not the weed addict

“Someday I would be like you… ministering till the heavens come down” Timmy would say… Max had never “used” anywhere there was the slightest chance of Timmy finding out. Truth is, he wasn’t as concerned about the church finding out as about being discovered by Timmy.

 He had become “Dad” to Timmy ever since their father had abandoned their mum for a younger “chic”.

Max stopped scribbling and stared at the backpack that had two wraps of weed in it. The intense lure urged his feet to the bathroom. He wrapped. He lit. He dragged. In the dark. His nerves calmed. He heard music notes. And he puffed some more. 

Then the bathroom door opened and the lights came on. There Timmy stood in his pyjamas… Timmy rubbed his eyes. Timmy stared. In shock. Timmy gasped. And coughed. Timmy choked. Timmy was asthmatic… Timmy gasped and dropped to the floor. The rest was a blur… 

“Oh God”… the only words that Max could utter… he dropped the wrap in the toilet bowl, flushed and rushed over to Timmy… He dropped to his knees… lifted Timmy to the room. Went in search of Timmy’s inhaler… 

The can was empty… Max was devastated… and Timmy was timing out… Timmy stopped gasping… Timmy went out

Max knelt… and the only words that came out where “Dear Lord, I promise to quit for real if you can just breathe life into Timmy” But there was no response… The tears… the regrets… the voices… those wretched monsters laughing… more regrets 

“Do you intend to keep that promise?” Max recognized the voice… but it wasn’t that of a monster… It was Timmy’s… 

“With the last drop of my blood” Max answered with a quivering voice “You know… we’ve been set free already” Timmy continued with a weak voice “just walk in the freedom Max… don’t be enslaved again… because I still want to be like you”